I started this jog n'blog back last summer and got away from it for a while. I haven't stopped running, but I stopped writing. Recently I have started training for a half-marathon. I would love to say I started running because I love running. But that wouldn't be true. To be totally honest, I started running for a couple of reasons. First, I had hit a plateau with my weight loss and I wanted to push through that. Second, and most importantly, I started running because it has helped me feel better, more upbeat, and more emotionally stable in general. When we moved to Missouri we found a wonderful environment for our children, a fantastic family-friendly neighborhood where they could play outside and run around a lot, and some of the best neighbors you could ask for. That is such a huge blessing. Unfortunately, I haven't found as much of the support system I once had. There are just some things you can't force. So I'm trying to "control the things I can", as the serenity prayer so wisely advises. Exercise in general has been so life-giving for me, but running in particular is the best metaphor for life that I can think of.
When I started training, I asked some veteran marathon runners for their advice on everything from running shoes, to training advice. They told me that to find the right shoes, you have to go to a running shoe store and have them watch you run, determine where you put the most stress on your feet, and find a shoe that fits your particular foot and its needs. In running, as in life, the right tools are crucial, and one size or type does not fit all. We're all different. We all put our stress in different places, and we need others to help us see ourselves clearly so that we can figure out what works best for us. The other priceless warning I received was to only increase my mileage by 10% each week to avoid injury and prepare my body gradually for the long haul. Baby steps! In our culture today we are so fixated on quick and easy one-size-fits-all solutions to our life challenges. But if we want to take good care of ourselves and be able to enjoy the long haul, gradual is better.
At this point in my training I am only up to 4.8 miles three times per week. And I'm not a speed racer at all. I am learning, though, to be kind to myself, to listen to my own body, to forgive myself when I don't meet my own expectations, and to just keep moving. The other day I was on about mile 3.5 and, for some reason, it was just a lot harder that day than a couple of days earlier. I wanted to stop. So I told myself to just try to keep going to 4 miles and see how I was. When I got to 4 miles I felt better, so I turned my ipod to a more up tempo song and tried to just get to 4.2. Once I got there I figured it wasn't far to the finish, so I might as well just suck it up and finish. I was disappointed in myself somewhat for having such a hard time. When I finished, though, a lady on a treadmill behind me (who runs marathons regularly) said, "Wow, good job! You made that look easy and motivated me!" I thanked her and I meant it. It felt so good to get to the other side of my fatigue and to have encouragement at the end of it.
We all have unique stresses, challenges, and crosses to bear. What I need to believe is that each one of us is worth fighting for. Life is full of forces that discourage us, make us cynical, weigh us down, and occasionally make us feel like giving up. But when we feel that way we have to fight for ourselves, ask for help, and keep moving forward. In running, as in life, we don't need to compare ourselves to others--they aren't running our race for us. We don't need to be the fastest, strongest, most impressive person on the scene. Sometimes the most noble and powerful testimony we can offer is showing up as ourselves and not giving up. We are all worth fighting for!
